First of all...
Hey, first of all cooking CAN be fun. Don't let it intimidate you and for god's sake don't watch any gormet cooking shows. They will only scare the crap outta ya. On the other hand, there is a show I would recommond--it used to be called the Urban Peasant and it actually taught me how to cook. James Barber is the guy that cooks and his recipes are generally easy. Don't try any baking until you've gained more confidence in the cooking area.
Bread is good.
NEVER LEAVE YOUR STOVE OR OVEN ON AND WALK AWAY!
Do you have cookware?
You'll need a frypan (nonstick is good for beginners), a small pot, a "flipper" (for flipping stuff) , and some shortening (Canola oil is fine to start), a lid that will cover the frypan is very helpful as well in minimizing the mess that WILL happen when frying.
Don't try fish early--it's easy to overcook and ruin. Chicken is hard to ruin unless it's totally black. Buy cheap cuts of chicken like say--thighs (can I say that?) and frie'm. When you cut into cooked chicken and blood is still uncooked--cook it some more.
Stay away from pork until you're more confident as raw pork can ruin YOU.
Ground beef is easy and quick and can be combined with Lipton Sidekicks or any generic quick pasta for both carbohydrates and proteins. Canned veggies though expensive are convenient and don't need much heating. During the summer a can of, whatever, veggie in a bowl doesn't need to be heated. Try different ones! Canned spinach is nice.
Have some fun; a watched pot never boils; never leave the stove or oven on.
By the way I recently met a guy who, at home, has thirty servant (including five cooks). OMG!
Mystery enables us to live. (Lorca)
and "Wu Hu!" (by some famous Empress :p )